How do you say goodbye to your mother? She has been with you your entire life. She is the very fiber that you are made of. She gave you life and all the essentials of who you are.
So lets go back about 75 years ago.
Sandra Faye Cason was the 2nd of 4 children born to Randall and Edna Cason back in the early 40’s. She was raised in a farming family that mostly resided in Pierce County Georgia. She was raised up to be a hard worker who took good care of her family. I have heard it quoted by one of her brothers that when she was a teenager she said, “I WILL NOT marry a farmer!”
Well, in the mid 60’s, she met and married (01/21/1966) Edward Davis, a farmer from Hortense. I have to admit, he was handsome enough to make her temporarily forget her previous vow “to not marry a farmer”.
After marriage, they took up residence near his family in the Hortense area and soon started their family. In January of 67, along came a bouncing baby boy and then Nov of 68, a darling little girl. (The girl is ME!! and I am the “bump” pictured below) LOL. I have picked at her and laughed many times that this is one of the only 2 baby pictures she has of me. It was all about my brother I guess!!!!! LOL
As my brother and I grew up under her care, she was tough on us in the areas that mattered. Honesty, integrity, work ethic, compassion, and LOVE.
She insisted that we behave appropriately and that we treat others with respect. If we have failed in any of these categories, it is NOT because we weren’t taught right from wrong. She was serious when it came to these things and she left no gray areas about it. She pushed us to do more than we could just get by with. For someone whom vowed to “not marry a farmer”, she took the work load in stride. Up early to unload tobacco barns, in the kitchen by 9am to start lunch for around 20. Once the kitchen was cleaned up and food put away, she was off to the fields to plug in where needed. If us kids were in school, she would be home in time to meet the bus, get us a quick snack, then to the field for whatever needed doing that time of year. Working tobacco beds, setting out, hoeing, suckering, picking…etc . There was always work to be done. Around dark, we made rounds to “feed up” the animals and then she would come home, make us a quick, hot supper, baths and homework and finally to bed. She was one tough lady!
But all too quickly, the years flew by. Before she knew it, her kids were married and doing their own things. She had also endured the loss of a mother and a brother. But the upside is that she and daddy were settling into a new routine of life. Grandbabies!!
But, then came a day none of us expected. My dad was killed in a horrible work related accident. It seems we were in shock for several days after his death. Mom’s world was completely turned upside down. She and dad had not prepared for anything like this. He was only 58 years old. But as I watched her from the sideline, she began methodically doing the “things that really mattered”. She began taking care of all the task that needed to be done. She kept her appearance strong in front of our family. I remember staying at her home with her the first couple of nights after dad’s passing and I heard her quietly sobbing into her pillow. It broke my heart. I can only imagine the pain she was going through. Losing the love of her life, the father of her children, her soulmate. Her life completely revolved around his needs. Anything he asked her to do, she did and supper was always on the table when he walked in the door. She supported him in every way she could. But now, he was gone. She done the only thing she knew to do and that was to keep going.
It wasn’t long and she was busying herself with cooking meals for her children and their families, visiting with aunts that she now how time to visit with and many other things. She even lived part time with her widowed father so that he could remain at home in his latter years. She always seemed happiest when she was helping others.
In 2013, my husband and I stopped by mom’s home for a quick Sunday evening visit and noticed something terribly off. She was “different”. She would not look at us. Her speech and conversation seemed appropriate but something was off. After a quick trip to Dr, it was confirmed that Mom had suffered a major stroke sometime in the last two weeks. It was a sad day because as I look back now, this is the point she started slowly slipping away from us. She was still very strong and determined. She insisted on cooking and driving herself wherever she needed to go. But we knew, it could not be allowed. Her judgement was so severely affected that it was not safe to allow her to cook or drive anymore. Her family quietly done the things that needed to be done to keep her safe at her home for over a year. Until the day she fell and broke her leg. After a short hospital stay, this landed her in Bayview Rehab for physical therapy. I can not say enough good about Bayview, but that will be for another post.
She worked hard for quiet a while on regaining her mobility and maintaining her health but the dementia slowly crept in until 5 years later, she could barely acknowledge who we were on our visits. It was a slow, sad process to watch her go through this. But, she never complained about her lot in life and she never pulled on us (her family) to do anything special or extra for her. She was very no nonsense about it all. We all needed to be working in her eyes.
But still, we visited often, spent holidays and shared all the great grands with her as much as we could. Even in her last days, you could see her light up when a great grand baby was in the room with her.
Then on Thursday Sept 26, 2019 at 7:39pm, with a room filled with family and contagious laughter, she so sweetly slipped from this world to the next. She left while listening to her family talk of the good times in the tobacco patch and the shenanigans that were pulled. The hard work that comes with being a farming family. I have never witnessed anything so peaceful. She had fought the good fight. She had carried her burden without complaint.
She has now crossed over. She is with Jesus and all of her loved ones that have gone on before her. And if I know my mother, she will have everything prepared for us when we get there. Like I mentioned before, she always seemed happiest when she was doing for others and I have no doubt she is still doing that today.
She was One Tough Lady!
